My Problem with The Devil

In today’s day and age, I feel that disclaimers are very necessary so here is mine: this is MY problem with the Devil. I don’t speak for other people. I am an extremely open person, with a certain set of beliefs. Please know that my beliefs do not preclude me from the ability to empathize with or respect opposing beliefs. I understand there are people in the Black community who do not feel the same way. I speak only from my teachings and experience.

Many times. When I was a child, I was fear stricken with the belief that if I did not obey my parents and the tenets of the Christian faith, I opened the doorway to the Devil entering my life. In fact, if I was not obeying, this meant I had already let the Devil into my life and was being manipulated by him. But he was not able to enter my heart.

As I grew older, I understood the distinction between being manipulated by the Devil and being possessed: those who believed in Jesus and accepted him into their heart as their Lord and Saviour could not be possessed by the Devil. Possession only occurred in individuals who did not believe in the Christian faith, and so did not have Jesus to protect the doorway to their heart. Christians, however, could still be tormented, because torment did not consist of the Devil making your heart his home. If you are confused, picture your heart behind steel bars. Torment is likened to poking, hurling insults, or spitting at your heart from the other side of the bars, but is unable to grab hold of your heart because there is no direct access. This kind of emotional, verbal or mental abuse can still have a negative effect on your life and lead you astray. The reason this happens is because your heart has a place for only one sovereign being: Jesus or the Devil. They cannot coexist in the same realm. Christians expose themselves to torment by the Devil through committing sinful acts. I won’t get into what constitutes a sinful act, which is appropriate given that examples differ depending on the way someone interprets scriptures.

So, no surprise that I spent many years struggling with overcoming my fear of the Devil in deciding to turn away from the Christian faith or try harder to understand it. I had read the Bible back to front many times. I grew up in a family that believed very strongly in Christianity and so we were heavily involved in our church. Think choir, weekly tithing, attendance on Sunday morning, and Sunday and Wednesday evenings, and prayer warrior meetings. Later when I refused to ignore the burning questions I had, I attended an Alpha course, with sessions that answer common questions about Christianity such as was Jesus real? Side note: I know Jesus was a real historical figure. Whether or not he was God’s son who was sent to save us as humans is where I stop. Believe me, I understand that being involved does not translate to devotion to the faith, this is to merely explain that I was someone who made an informed decision to stop believing in the Devil. I wasn’t clueless. And the concept of the Devil was something no Pastor could ever make clear to me.

In Bible study, we are taught that the Devil is a fallen angel, Lucifer, who rebels against God’s teachings and wants to exalt himself to the same level of God. He rounds up other angels who agree with his beliefs, and is ultimately cast out of heaven with them. Some argue that Satan was never an angel. The point is that he lived in heaven alongside God and was cast out because he rebelled. Thus he becomes the adversary, the Evil to God’s Good. This dichotomy is what I believe the Christian faith rests upon; it was used in my Sunday school teachings to keep me on the straight and narrow path. Throughout my years as a Christian, I learned that everything I do must be done for the glory of God, to glorify him. Anything that was not glorifying him was ultimately glorifying the Devil. Listening to non-Christian music meant that I was glorifying the Devil. I was to be in the world, but not of the world. Being of the world was seen as sinful, on the opposite side of God’s desires and on the pathway to Hell. It was a matter of choosing sides, and God’s side was associated with Life, and the Devil’s with Death. Starting a conversation with a stranger and not mentioning Jesus meant that I was ashamed of the Gospel and missed the opportunity to share my faith thus glorifying the Devil.

I often wondered why God who is omniscient, and would have known prior to Satan’s rebellion that he was starting a faction, did not confront Satan and put a stop to it. The answer I receive from Bible scholars and Pastors is Free Will. There is an overarching battle of Heaven vs. Hell yet the understanding that the Devil and God are not equal opposites because God is ultimately more powerful than Satan. I could not understand why if God is omnipotent, he could not simply end this battle. In the book of Revelations, we learn that Jesus holds the keys of death and Hades, or Hell. We are taught that Satan will never win and one day he will be thrown into the lake of burning sulfur to be tormented. Satan’s defeat is foretold and we are to patiently wait. The problem with this is that centuries of people have come and gone and this final battle is yet to happen. I was taught to wait on the Lord and be of good courage for the day when the final battle will take place.

Meanwhile, I am meeting the Devil on a daily basis as I struggle with self doubt, limited thinking, negative core beliefs, and insecurities. In my opinion, the real “Devil” is my own fears and inner struggles that prevent me from living my purpose on Earth. With the personal development journey I have been on over the years, I am well on my way to overcoming these internal battles. This of course does not fit with the current Christian teachings because only God can overcome the Devil, and all trust should be placed in him to do so.

Believing in an entity whose only purpose is to instill fear in myself in order to encourage me to remain steadfast on the Christian path and obey the Bible’s teachings is no longer the lifestyle I’d like to fashion my life upon. After years of questioning what was wrong with me, why I could not trust in the Lord and lean on his own understanding, I chose to liberate myself from the trap that there is a Devil and have never felt more free in my life. I used to think that denouncing the Devil meant that I could not believe in God. It is true, I cannot technically believe in the God related to his son Jesus and the Holy Spirit, however with abandoning my belief in the Devil, I have taken on a new understanding and relationship with myself and with God.